Vinegar Bottle Vigilante

When Bezoar was a puppy, she went to doggy day care. (Those were the salad days when I thought nothing of dropping money on babysitting services for my dog.) Bezoar is a special dog in a lot of ways and we explained some of her earlier behaviors by pointing to the fact that we got her when she was six weeks old. She never learned "the way of the dog" from her mom and therefore didn't pick up on other dog's cues to modify her behavior. The alternate theory, and the one I currently subscribe to, is that she saw the cues and actively chose to ignore them.

Bezoar's doggy day care leader used a squirt bottle filled with diluted vinegar in water to discipline the dogs. A quick shot usually did the trick, breaking up doggy squabbles, getting errant canines off the furniture, shutting up super-yappers. On countless days, I would pick up a damp, vinegary, and decidedly unrepentant Bezoar from day care. (Turns out she likes vinegar but that's another story.)

I want a vinegar bottle. I encounter a lot of people who have earned a quick squirt of liquid "knock it off". For example, the gentleman snoring next to me while I waited for a friend in the doctor's office. Or the two nearly catatonic sales people at the Northgate Macy's who demonstrated an almost epic lack of customer service. Squirt, squirt. I may mount a vinegar bottle to the front of my car so I can squirt the jerks who don't let people merge onto 520 off of Montlake. I do not, however, want Jenny, my office mate and right hand lady, to get her hands on a bottle. I'm afraid I may end up damp, vinegary and unrepentant.

Do you know anyone who needs a quick squirt of vinegar justice?